Cold Feet
by PrincessDesire
Summary: Thought I'd try dialogue only. Yaoi, of course. It was just a fun little experiment. Please tell me what you think.


"You do too love her!"  
  
"I'm not sure that I do."  
  
"Yes you do. You just have cold feet. It's perfectly normal. I mean, hey, you are going to spend the rest of your life with her.Squall! Stop trying to hide underneath the table."  
  
"But Irvine.I don't think I love her. I don't think I ever loved her."  
  
"You have to love her a little bit otherwise you wouldn't have asked her to marry you!"  
  
"She asked me."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"That sounds like Rinoa."  
  
"Shut up, Zell. If you aren't part of the solution. Now look, you had to love her or you wouldn't have said yes right?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"It's just jitters. I promise. Now, tell me one thing that you like about Rinoa."  
  
"I can't think of anything."  
  
"Of course you can! Zell, if you laugh one more fucking time, I'm going to hogtie you and leave you in the bathroom during the ceremony."  
  
"It's just that I think she's kinda dumb and slutty."  
  
"See? Even Zell thinks bad things about Rinoa and he's one of my groomsmen!"  
  
"She isn't slutty. She hasn't cheated on you once in the six months you've been dating."  
  
"She just switched from Seifer to Squall!"  
  
"Yes, but wouldn't you have Zell? I mean, Seifer is a dumb ass jerk. But Rinoa, she's nice. She's pretty. She'd never cheat on you. I mean, she hasn't been able to think of anything but you since you met her."  
  
"Yeah, I guess."  
  
"She hasn't even flirted with me! And I've even flirted a little with her."  
  
"Irvine."  
  
"But that's my point! Look! You got jealous. Would you get jealous if you didn't care about her?"  
  
"I guess not."  
  
"She's got great legs and skin. She's a knockout and she's all yours! I say make it legal."  
  
"And I say you should go with your gut instinct man."  
  
"Zell."  
  
"What if he's right Irvine? I mean, that's a good point. I trust my instincts in battle, why wouldn't I in love?"  
  
"Okay, there is another point. You fought in battle right? She held her own. How many women do you think could do that? I mean, she fights and not too badly either. She's hot and she fights."  
  
"He makes me want to marry her."  
  
"Seifer, don't be a prick now, Squall has cold feet."  
  
"Well, he should put some socks on and shut the hell up."  
  
"That's helpful."  
  
"Trying to stop Squall from whining is fighting a losing battle."  
  
"Why are you trying so hard to get me married anyway Irvine?"  
  
"Because someday you are going to be my best man and I'm going to need you there to make sure I don't run off."  
  
"Are you and Selphie considering it?"  
  
"I haven't asked yet, but I would like to. And when I do, you are going to be my best man and you are going to keep me grounded. I figure if I do it first, you'll have an example."  
  
"Thanks man."  
  
"Oh Zell, I need a hug too!"  
  
"Back off Seifer!"  
  
"Well, I guess we'd better get you to your wedding!"  
  
"Yeah, I think I'm ready."  
  
  
  
"I heard you call Rinoa slutty, that was great. How come no one notices that you have a crush on Squall?"  
  
"Oh man, if you've noticed I'm really dumb."  
  
"You aren't the most subtle person in the world Zell. You've got to be smooth. You should tease and belittle him so that he doesn't think you like him. It's how I've covered up my crush for so long."  
  
"You have a crush? I doubt it. You have to have a heart for that."  
  
"Maybe you should give me some tips on how to romance someone. I mean you've had what, one significant other since we were kids? Are you bad with people or just frigid?"  
  
"Do you really like someone?"  
  
"It doesn't matter. Come on, Puberty Boy is getting married in five minutes."  
  
"I guess I should be there. I do have this tux on for a reason."  
  
"Hey Zell, did you ever think about telling him?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Why didn't you? Doesn't seem like you have much to lose at this point."  
  
"I guess I just want him to be happy."  
  
  
  
"Speak now or forever hold your peace."  
  
"I object!"  
  
"Seifer! I'll kill you."  
  
"Squall, you can't marry Rinoa. Zell is in love with you!"  
  
"You prick!"  
  
"Aaah!"  
  
"Zell, what's he talking about?"  
  
"Nothing he's just being stupid! Ow!"  
  
"I'm not being stupid. He should have told you, but he didn't have the balls. But, I've always had more balls than him. He loves you and you should decide whether you want to give him a chance or marry Rinoa."  
  
"Squall!"  
  
"Don't worry Rinoa. Is this true Zell?"  
  
"No. I don't love you. I do kind of like you I guess, but I've never LOVED you. I'm sorry about Seifer. Get married. I want to see you happy. I'm going to go kick the shit out of Seifer."  
  
"Give him a kick for me."  
  
  
  
"You don't love him?"  
  
"I said I had a crush! I didn't mean that I wanted to marry him!"  
  
"I really am enjoying today."  
  
"Why? Do you want me to beat you up?"  
  
"No, I just think it's time I told you who my crush is."  
  
"Seifer. You just kissed me. First, you announced that I was in love with the groom at Squall's wedding and now you are kissing me. I don't think I've ever wanted to kill you more."  
  
"Do I kiss bad?"  
  
"No, you kiss fine. Wait! What am I saying? It doesn't matter if it was a good kiss or a bad kiss. You are just tormenting the hell out of me today and I want you to stop it!"  
  
"I'm not teasing you Zell. You are my crush. Ow!"  
  
"You jerk! I am not! You treat me like crap!"  
  
"Yeah, so that you wouldn't suspect."  
  
"Well, that worked."  
  
"You don't believe that I love you?"  
  
"You. love. me?"  
  
"Yeah. I guess I have for a long time. A very long time."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"I wanted you to be happy. And I think you can do better than me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, at first I was just embarrassed that I liked you, but then when I saw you starting to like Squall, I thought that you deserved him."  
  
"But not you?"  
  
"Nah, I'm a prick."  
  
"Seifer, you are a psychiatrist's dream."  
  
"And you are the most fun person I've ever been around and now that Squall is getting married, I don't care if I'm good for you or not. I want you to be mine."  
  
"Stop kissing me! I need to think. Hee hee. That tickles."  
  
"I'm very good with my tongue."  
  
"Are you molesting me outside of Squall's wedding?"  
  
"Is it working?"  
  
"Do I have to marry you?"  
  
"Not right away."  
  
"You want me to be your boyfriend?"  
  
"Yes. Now shut your cute mouth and kiss me!"  
  
  
  
".to join Seifer Almasy and Zell Dincht in blissful matrimony. If anyone objects to this union, let them speak now or hold their peace."  
  
"I object! I'm in love with Zell!"  
  
"I knew he was going to do this."  
  
"I am in love with Zell too!"  
  
"That one caught me off guard."  
  
"We did ruin Rinoa's wedding too Seifer."  
  
"I'm in love with Zell!"  
  
"No, I am!"  
  
"He's mine!"  
  
"No, he's mine!"  
  
"Zell darling!"  
  
"Ahhhh! Seifer save me!"  
  
"That's a cute gag Squall. Getting half of Garden to chase after my husband. I'm so pissed."  
  
"Zell will be back I'm sure."  
  
"Cid! At least they didn't get you in on this."  
  
"Oh, don't speak so quickly. I mean, I've always thought you had the most enchanting eyes."  
  
"ZELL! AHHHHHH! Wait up Zell!" 


End file.
